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Let's Do the Time Warp Again.

About four years ago my mother gave me the number of a person she knew who "needed computer help". Being a freelance computer guy, I gave him a call.
His name was Andrew, but asked everyone to call him Andy. He apparently had some money tied up in the stock market (quite a lot from what I was told) and used his computer to trade online. Over the phone he asked when I could come over and look at it. He asked that I fix it in-home (something I try to avoid). I said sure and asked for a description of what the problem seemed to be.
"I can't get into my AOL."
I rolled my eyes at hearing this. Can't get into an account? That's a red flag for "I don't know anything about computers". That account is an AOL account? That's a red flag for, "I have an inherent distrust of technology so I unplug my toaster after use so hackers can't steal my credit card information". I shrugged and gave him the benefit of the doubt.
"So what happens? Can you turn on the computer?"
"I don't know. I can't get into my AOL"
Uh oh. As anyone in IT can tell you, someone who responds to a second question with the same answer as the first basically equates to, "I'm a caveman and I think electricity is witchcraft". He then asked if I could just come over and check and if I could fix it. I told him the same thing I tell everyone, "Probably".
So I drove over to his place, which was this tiny one-story house in the suburbs. Certainly not befitting of a brilliant Forex trader, but I withheld my judgments. The man who answered the door couldn't have been younger than 75. A short, weak white-haired man who took roughly five minutes to unlock his iron security gate.
I was ushered into the house to look at the computer. I asked where it was and he directed me to something I hadn't seen in years. His house looked like I had stepped into 1955, complete with terminally ill cat and a sofa with what could have been either floral patterns or a collage of various stains. I was then presented with a monolithic laptop that was resting shakily on a tv-tray built to hold objects lighter than this 70lb monster.
"This is your computer? This is the one you're having problems with?" I asked and prayed the answer was "no".
"This is my laptop. It's newer than my desktop, which I normally use. If you could take a look at that one too, that would be great."
"Oh Joy", I thought to myself. This should be interesting. I didn't even attempt to go to the desktop until I could see what I could do here. I opened the case and was greeted with a small black screen covered in dust and stains and a keyboard with about 7 keys missing. The computer itself was about the size of a small briefcase and weighed similar to one filled with lead bricks. I pushed the power button and saw another grand surprise. The Windows 95 boot screen loaded up.
"It takes a while, let's go look at the other computer."
"A while". Is very generous to how long it took relative to computer standards. This computer booted up roughly a half an hour later. This computer was similar to this one (case might have been the same, the specs weren't): "http://i.imgur.com/qiZDeDI.jpg" . I had never seen one before and it was amazing. This thing belonged in a damn museum. It was made to to run with Windows 3.1 but somehow, someone managed to load windows 95 on it. The hard drive had a whopping 2 GB of hard drive space, measured in MB.
In the next room was his "desktop". This computer was so old I questioned whether or not I was actually being preyed upon by an elaborate prankster. It looked like this: "http://i.imgur.com/2V0zg7P.jpg" but ran windows 95. I didn't even know how. He said he had it "upgraded" at some point. It even was connected using a Baud modem (http://i.imgur.com/A3XMShk.jpg)
I stepped back and began to question my life.
"Can you get me into AOL?"
"Honestly, for the amount you're going to have to pay me to fix this, you could buy a whole new computer."
"I don't care the costs. I don't want a new computer. I want to get into my AOL."
"Well, maybe we could install linux on it and..."
"No I don't want a different system. I want to get into my AOL."
"Ok. Well, I could try to locate a windows 95 floppy..."
"No, I don't want you to reinstall the system. I want my AOL."
"Well, that is the best 100% surefire way to fix it."
"No. I just want to get into my AOL"
"Ok... I'll try."
Over the next hour I tried everything I could to find out what was wrong. I tried every single trick I knew how to fix this computer. It was sluggish as all hell. Every action took a few minutes to compute and I sat there, mouth agape in wonder. It didn't take long for me to realize I was out of my element. There were network problems, OS issues that resulted in crashes, pop-ups and malware, and when I opened the case? Dead cockroaches.
My integrity wanted me to do this. I HAD to do this. I NEEDED to do this. Lastly, I knew I COULD do this, but he placed so many rediculous restrictions (No taking it apart, no reformatting, no different OS, no new modem) that it was literally impossible.
I told him thank you for the phone call, but I don't think I could help him. He asked for a reference, I told him that his stuff was so old he might consider contacting a museum to get references. Probably no one under 30 knows how to fix these problems. Definitely no one would be able to fix it with the guidelines he set. He didn't need IT support, he needed a wizard. I left shortly after with him being very upset at my "attitude" as he put it. He then complained to my mother who referenced me and I told her he was a loon.
I don't know if he ever got it fixed. I never heard of him again. Honestly, I don't even know if he traded stocks. His son or grandson (who he mentioned was "probably way better at this stuff than me") probably just showed him an excel spreadsheet and fed him some lies about how he was "trading stocks". I don't know. It is both the most sad and frustrating job I have ever been on.
submitted by Tebbo to talesfromtechsupport [link] [comments]

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How to Build A Forex Trading Journal Using Excel Spreadsheet

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